I am at the British Library, and I am reading Jenkins (What Happened before YouTube). I am looking for definitions of participatory & collaborative culture. I do not know if I am going to find what I am looking for in this article. Suddenly it strucks me: this is the hardest part of research; to look for without knowing where. This constant vagueness of possible routes that could lead towards something, or not. Like an intuition that has no form yet. Like a world of impalpable possibilities, with no certainties.
This state of flux is nothing else than normal life: fluidity of possibilities. And yet, in the modern world in which we live we want to “see” things before starting them, we need to control them, be efficient. There is very little efficiency in research. Organisation can help, but luck and sudden grace have a big chunk too. No one admits this. It is in the “in between” that things happen, because connections suddenly are created. We cannot plan for creation, we need to let it happen. Although I always struggle with time in my life, and the idea of spending a day at the BL without any certainties that I will find the quote that I need infuriates me, I have to admit that the PhD will have taught me something: more than patience what counts is to have faith in the becoming… To let go of efficiency is to let go of control and embrace “affected experience”. Why have we not been taught to see life as a constantly changing dynamic experience? If our success criterias had nothing to do with the time it took us to get there but with the qualitative feeling of growth we would be less stressed and,maybe, more aware and “alive”.
After slow time, slow food and slow internet I suspect I am embracing “slow becoming” as my new mantra!
This entry was posted on Thursday, September 22nd, 2011